Mother-in-law Poem

Are you a mother-in-law, or do you have a mother-in-law.

It’s not easy either way.

In each case you may be trying to get along with a close member of the family whose ways are not known to you.

When I first met my husband’s mother I felt as though I had to live up to some kind of expectation – to be good enough for her son. Every time my husband said something complimentary about his mother I felt it was a comparison to me, and somehow I just didn’t measure up.

The things he mentioned were small things, like how his mother was skilled at wrapping Christmas presents, or how she would wash the dishes up while she was preparing the meal so that there was little to clean up afterwards.

Now I have three grown-up sons of my own who each have children, so I am in the position of being the ‘dreadful’ mother-in-law. I see my daughters-in-law reacting to me in the same way I did to my husband's mother. I have to be careful what I say and do for fear they might think I am competing for the affection of their husbands.

Mother in Law Movie

I went to the comedy movie ‘Monster in Law’ with Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez. I saw it twice, the second time by accident, and it was almost as if the Universe was trying to tell me something. Even though the movie was an over-the-top account of the relationship between mothers-in-law and their daughters-in-law I still learned some valuable lessons from it.

When I was young and going to 'Elocution Lessongs' we learned an amusing poem called 'Like His Mother Used to Make'. I have ‘Looked at Mothers-in-law From Both Sides Now’ , and I wrote this poem to put across my feelings. I hope you like it:

The Mother-in-law Circle

I never had a daughter,
Just three tall handsome sons.
Some folks think I’m unlucky,
But I’m the lucky one.

For sons are easy-going,
No tantrums and no tears.
And when they’re very naughty
Just box their little ears.

But still I miss the dresses,
The ribbons and the frills,
And sharing girly secrets
Of boyfriends, love and thrills.

My sons grew up too quickly
And soon found lovely wives.
They moved away to other towns
To get on with their lives.

And though I tried to know them
The daughters were “In-law”
And I was not their mother,
So secrets were no more.

Grandchildren came, a true delight
At last three little girls,
With dolls and frilly dresses,
Long hair and pretty curls.

Although I am grandmother
To second place I go,
For “mother of the bride” is first,
“She’s mummy’s mum, you know”.

My sons still love their mother
And keep me in the know.
But stepping carefully round the wife’s
The only way to go.

When I was just a newby wife
My husband’s mum I met.
I too was jealous of his love
And so some barriers set.

Insensitive of how she felt
To lose her son to me.
Now in her shoes I stand outside
And through that window see...

That life goes on, a circle yet,
For birds all leave their nest.
And now as ma-in-law I find
I’m going through that test.

All I can do, as mums before,
Is hope and love and pray.
That God will care for all my kids
And give them joy today.

© Joan Small 2006

Live with Fun and Love
Joan

Joan Small empowers people to make positive changes in their lives with her inspirational books and poetry.. If you want to discover visit: http://www.joansmall.com